Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Assurances

Monday morning my boss assured me that I am not in imminent danger of being fired.

That was a relief. Or, it would have been, if I'd thought I was going to be fired. Funny thing about assurances, if you didn't need reassuring, their a mite counter productive.

Today my dentist asked me if I was bothered by how grey my teeth were. No, well, not until right when you said that. I had no idea my teeth were grey, which made worrying about it difficult.

Dick.

I think the worst reassurance I ever got was just before sex with a girl I picked up at the comedy club. We were about to make love so sweet Angels would put their own eyes out when she said, “I just want you to know I’m really clean.” Um, OK. Could you wait here while I grab second third and fourth condoms or maybe we just settle on a firm handshake. I'll even go so far as to tickle your palm with my middle finger.

My next post will be better, I assure you.

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